It's Like, you know, English and stuff
Commentaries and gripes on writing, grammar, that sort of thing
Now relegated to Blogblivion...Friday, September 01, 2006
“I Don’t Know”
That’s Sadie’s latest sentence, used separately to me and Deb at different times today.
Yup, she can’t talk. Just like the Pope isn’t Catholic.
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
Poor Sense of Touch
I know, I know; it’s a losing battle, but this drives me crazy.
I was reading this article, instead of finishing my Hell’s kitchen happy dance post, and came across this paragraph:
Behold the wholly sanitized childhood, without skinned knees or the occasional C in history. “Kids need to feel badly sometimes,” says child psychologist David Elkind, professor at Tufts University. “We learn through experience and we learn through bad experiences. Through failure we learn how to cope.”
Which totally derailed me from my reading as I exclaimed “no, they don’t need to feel badly, they need to feel fucking bad!”
I will never ever in my life feel badly unless I get some serious dermal nerve damage.
May the sense of touch be with you.
Saturday, May 20, 2006
Dear Quiz Writer
I believe the word you’re seeking for this is “libertarian,” with pro-war leanings in the real world:
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Your Political Profile: |
| Overall: 70% Conservative, 30% Liberal
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| Social Issues: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal
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| Personal Responsibility: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal
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| Fiscal Issues: 100% Conservative, 0% Liberal
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| Ethics: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal
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| Defense and Crime: 100% Conservative, 0% Liberal
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Via Pammy
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
Need more electrictiy? Build a freaking power plant!
So I saw a thing about rolling blackouts in Texas on the news this morning, and they were making much of the whole “this is the warmest it has ever been this early” routine, and I got to thinking about how peculiar it is that we tend to regard our current infrastructure as a good barometer of the natural world, and how really, it goes further than that, and we tend to think of where we are now in general as some sort of definition of the possible and the reasonable, and thus judge reality against our development, rather than judging ourselves with respect to reality, hence the focus on driving our own evolution backward instead of forward that seems to be the mark of the thought of the time in so, so many circles.
Also, it’s the sort of thought that keeps protesting that such and so is illegal without ever considering that maybe the law itself is a problem. The tragedy isn’t the weather; the tragedy is that we haven’t built enough generating capacity to keep up with it. And if you truly believe that it’s the generating capacity fucking up the weather, then design something less polluting, already, and/or shut up.
Monday, March 20, 2006
Look Who’s Talking Now… Sort Of
I wrote this yesterday morning before we left for the rest of the day, and thought I had posted it when I hadn’t…
Sadie has gotten a lot more likely to use words to communicate recently, and has expanded the vocabulary she attempts to say. She’d still rather mime, but even having her say “no” or “yeah” when that is what she means is a pleasant improvement. In particular, she happily attempts 2 syllable words.
One of her favorite things is Robin Eggs, which are candy covered, egg-shaped malted milk balls. Deb loves them, so I bring them home sometimes while they are in season and a cheap treat. She had previously learned the word “egg” and applied it to them. Yesterday she pointed at the cabinet where we keep them and said “robin.” Well, clearly tried to; you can imagine what it actually sounded like in 18 month old speech. Something like “wahbwihn.”
One of her inexplicably favorite toys is a red plastic ruler I bought sometime between 1976 and 1978, when I was in high school. Who says they don’t build things to last. Anyway, a short while ago, I coaxed her into saying “ruler” while teaching her what it was called. It sounded something like “woollah.” Very cute.
Friday, March 03, 2006
How to Generate Tons of Comments…
Talk about cutting your hair.
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
Breakfast
Sadie just said something that passes for “breakfast” in response to my asking if she wanted juice, or maybe breakfast or something. It was so cute. It came out something like “bweh fafa.”
Then she resumed humming in different pitches and miming/signaling. This involves putting her not yet empty cup in which she had coffee milk onto my desk, shoving it way back, pulling it forward beside the keyboard, pointing at it, humming, and walking away, making hums and moans.
Ah, now she deposited an uneaten cracker she stored late yesterday on my desk beside the milk cup. Heh.
Update:
She approves heartily of raisin bran. Mmmmm…
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
Off-Topic Book??
So I’m looking at a crossword puzzle and one of the clues is “OT book.” I read that and think “off-topic? overtime? HUH?” (Insert scrunched eyebrows and puzzled look here.)
A minute later, after looking at some other clues and openings, I exclaimed, “oh! Old Testament!” (Insert big sigh here.)
It was four letters starting with an E, if you’re curious and would not have ever been confuzzled by the shorthand expression “OT book” as we were.
Sunday, November 20, 2005
Cat Good
Sadie is sitting with Deb, watching a Baby Einstein video. She acted excited when a cat came on. Deb said “you like kitties?”
Now, Sadie has a habit of talking to herself in a sort of mumbled babble. Sadie replied to Deb with mumble “cat good” mumble! The “cat good” was crystal clear.
That’s the first time she has put words together like that. Even if they are two of her favorite words to say. That’s not counting the times she has said “love you,” as she heard it that way and was basically repeating, if choosing the right meaning and context. Nobody has ever said “cat good” for her to repeat.
Yay for language development!
Saturday, November 12, 2005
The Insidious Influence of Dr. Seuss
Moments ago, Sadie was sitting in her favorite cubby between “her” metal toolbox and a box of stuff against the wall under the window behind me. She touched one of her socks as if she wasn’t sure she liked having it on, so I pointed out I also had socks, and came out with:
White socks, blue socks
We each have two socks
This is what comes of reading too many Seuss and other books over and over, plus being relatively quick with wordplay myself.
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
Overheard In Our House
"It fell thudding down into the middle of the sentence like a great big linguistic meteor.”
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
No Barrel Required
Sadie’s rubber ducky now has a name.
Bob.
Because it does.
Friday, October 21, 2005
When I Was A Kid…
I would hear sports reports mention “U. Conn.” in reference to games played. For a long time I thought they were saying “Yukon,” and though that was an extremely odd juxtaposition of sports and geography.
Thursday, October 20, 2005
Adhesive Tape
Bandaging up my toe again with a gauze pad and adhesive tape reminded me of something I’ve thought about off and on since I was a kid.
Adhesive tape?
Why do we call the stuff for bandaging adhesive tape? Isn’t it the job of all tape to be adhesive and, you know, adhere? Just sayin…
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
Good
This is Sadie’s first clear word that ends in a consonant. She has said “daddy,” but usually she says da da da and ma ma ma. She has from time to time perfectly mimicked a word, but only on a one time basis.
Yesterday, after I told her she was a “good girl,” she started going around saying goo (pronounced to rhyme with good more than with moo) repeatedly.
Today she mastered the full word “good” and is quite pleased with herself.
All the more reason to be sure she’ll bust out with understandable English any time now. Not that she has any trouble making herself understood now. She knows so many words, even though she can’t say them, she can act on or react to what we say, which can tell us what she wants. For instance, she knows the word “pineapple.” Her response to our discussion of whether to cut the pineapple sitting on the counter, making the whole kitchen smell pleasant, was to make a beeline for her high chair, then come back to the living room like “well, hurry up,” and go back to the chair and shake it.
So she got a mound of fresh pineapple, and I cut the rest up for today or tomorrow. Sadly, it had some damage that looked like parts had frozen in cold storage, so I discarded more than I’d have preferred. However, then good parts were fantastic.
Mmmm… good.
On another note, Deb reports that Sadie has just learned how to put the Mega Blocks together, and is happily stacking them. For her birthday she got a 50 piece wagon full of them, which she was crazy about even before she caught on to building with them. She also got a doll from my father and stepmother, and is crazy about her “baby.”
Sunday, September 11, 2005
Lunar Milestone
Tonight we spelled a word in front of Sadie for the first time ever.
M-O-O-N
See, a while back we went looking for a good bedtime book to become the ritual to replace the final nursing of the day, which was the final one to be given up. We found a book called “The Moon In My Room.” It’s terribly cute; a board book about getting that same book read as a bedtime story, and about the “moon light.” It has a moon face nightlight built in, poking through a round cutout all the way through the book’s pages. You press the moon, it lights for several minutes, then it fades out. A kid can use it as a nightlight/flashlight and take comfort that it’s there. She’s not old enough for that yet, but she instantly loved the book and the new routine, not even missing the previous routine.
Now we ask if she’s ready for “the moon book” to give her a chance to tell us explicitly she’s ready for bed. Sometimes I’ll say “moon book” at an inappropriate time, just to tease and get a rise out of her. We’ll also chorus back and forth with “moooooooon booook” exactly the way they do with “Booh Bah” at the beginning of that show.
Tonight I wanted to refer to the book conversationally without getting her excited, so I spelled moon. That was a first.
I highly recommend the book in question. It’s cute, and it encourages the smooth acceptance of bedtime. She turns the pages, and it interested her in such a way that it taught her what books are, so now she’s more inclined to sit still for a story, and a little less inclined to treat them as objects for destruction. She treats the moon book with surprising respect. It’s a comfort item she sleeps with now. It’ll probably help the transition to her own bedroom in the new apartment.
She’s growing up so fast! The fact is, she recognizes so much of what we say, having to spell something was only a matter of time. Yet it’s tremendously useful and fun to say things to her and be understood. Ah, mixed blessings. Next thing you know she’ll come out with full sentences we can understand. She has quite a temper (I can’t imagine where she got that) and will “cuss us out” with sentence length stings of various syllables in a range she normally doesn’t exhibit. We joke about her being in trouble if we knew what she was saying.
Friday, August 19, 2005
Accurate Nomenclature Can Be Fun
I’ve mentioned this before, but I’ve seen it a lot lately and been thinking of mentioning it again. This sentence quoted from an e-mailer to Glenn reminded me:
Please issue a correction in your next blog.
My first thought went something like “you might have to wait a long time for Glenn to start a new blog!”
Come on people. A ”blog“ is a type of web site, generally composed and posted to using some kind of blogging tool (as opposed to hand coding). A blog is composed of ”posts,” for which a good synonym is ”entries.” They usually go in reverse chronological order, are readily identifiable as to date and time posted, are attributed to an author, and each has a permalink.
Again, blog, a noun, means a web site of a particular type that contains blog posts or entries.
Blog, a verb, means the act of creating posts or entries and publishing them to a blog.
Post, a noun, means an individual entry to a blog.
Entry, a noun, means an individual entry to a blog.
Post, a verb, means to publish an entry, or a post, to a blog.
The following two sentences mean the same thing:
“I haven’t posted today.”
“I haven’t blogged today.”
The following two sentences do not mean the same thing:
“I started a post today.”
“I started a blog today.”
When I see someone use “blog” as a noun substituting for “post” or “entry,” I cringe, and I think “newbie.” Possibly even to the internet, almost as much as to blogging. Or else someone who cares not to learn and use correct terminology, even if they are somehow finding blogging success and longevity. Or else someone who is not a blogger at all, and has not learned the term, as is a possibility with Glenn’s heckler. Which isn’t so bad, as the garbled nomenclature only bothers me when I see bloggers using it.
Perhaps sadly, I find it more grating than gratuitous “it’s” or “you’re,” or failure to use pique or queue where peek or cue won’t do.
Monday, August 08, 2005
Fwuh Fwuh
Ah, the words they learn first…
Sadie saw me put fries and a burger on the table where Deb would be sitting at the office (where there is AC for these lovely 90-something, sweat-drenched days), got up from her computer and at the closest I have seen her come to a run headed that way exclaiming “fwuh FWUH!” Which sounded remarkably like “french fry” to me, considering the state of her vocalization ability.
Sunday, August 07, 2005
It’s Only Words
As much for the “permanent record” as anything, on Friday Sadie said “water” for the first time. Not to mention indicating she recognized what the word meant, the way she understands “bath,” “duck,” “ready to come out now?” and others..
Today I was asking her if she wanted “breakfast,” and “to eat,” which she ignored. Then I said “want some banana?” She said “nana!” and put her arms out to go with me.
She seems intent on the language skills, now, often maintaining a running monologue we wish we could understand.
There you have it; just a quick update.
Thursday, July 28, 2005
She’s Getting The Accent Down…
Last night Sadie said “rubber duck” quite clearly while she was in the bath. Well, she’s not strong on the K sound yet. At least she knows how to conserve R for future use.
Yep, she said “rubbah.”
She’ll fit right in with the native speakers.
Monday, July 11, 2005
Here we go again, psycho landlord edition. (UPDATED)
Or actually, that would be Psycho-Sister-of-the-Landlord edition. But who’s being specific?
So we get home tonight and there’s an incredibly rude, bitchy message from the landlord’s sister protesting that we haven’t moved the van. Seriously. She actually said, and I quote, “avoiding this won’t do you any good.”
Only problem with her worldview there is that they never asked us to move the van. They asked us to remove a car. We did. Doesn’t seem that complicated. If like, you know, you speak English and stuff.
Looks like she and the Creepy Guy just pulled up out front, so Jay’s going to go have a little talk with her. I’m not going because I’d get us thrown out *now,* and we don’t hardly need that. I need a “steam coming out of my ears” smiley.
Good Lord.
UPDATE: Jay got it all straightened out. This is why he goes on the diplomatic missions, lol. He’s good.
Friday, June 24, 2005
Weaponized Banana
This is the term I came up with spontaneously the other day for banana Sadie gets onto the floor, rather than into her, so you can then step on it and be grossed out.
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
Interesting List
There are some in here I didn’t even realize originated in films, and took to be long-coined phrases so useful that everyone uses them. “Love means never having to say you’re sorry.” for example.
Thursday, June 09, 2005
Serving Suggestion
The latest commentary from Pat Sajak, ”Warning: This Essay Could Cause Drowsiness,” is on the absurdity of current product warnings, and the greater culture of unacceptable risk. It gets ridiculous. It’s a slippery slope, too. You start with warnings and laws that are marginally silly or seem a decent nod toward safety. You slide into Risk Management for Dummies territory in short order.
As Pat says, in part:
We are living in an age when the only acceptable risk is no risk. But where do we draw the line? If 55 miles per hour is less lethal than 65, as many highway safety advocates claim, isn’t 45 mph even safer? Why not 35?
The argument often put forth by those who worry about such matters is, “If it saves just one life, it’s worth it.� But that’s simply not true, nor is it practical. Skiers are killed and seriously injured every year, but there’s not much call for banning the sport. People die in bathtub and shower falls almost daily, but no one is suggesting an end to bathing.
The way I always think of it is you can strive to eliminate all risk because you don’t want to die, but how can you be said to be living at that point.
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
How About A Sanity Clause?
I found a page at the Senate web site that has the text of the Constitution in the left column, with a “play by play” description and discussion of it in the right column. I was looking for the exact text of the commerce clause, which says:
[The Congress shall have Power...]
To regulate Commerce with foreign Nations, and among the several States, and with the Indian Tribes;
In other words, with respect to interstate commerce, it says “Congress shall have the power to regulate commerce among the states.”
Period.
The Senate’s interpretation/description alongside it reads:
The “commerce clause� is one of the most far-reaching grants of power to Congress. Interstate commerce covers all movement of people and things across state lines, and every form of communication and transportation. The commerce clause has permitted a wide variety of federal laws, from the regulation of business to outlawing of racial segregation. The “Indian commerce clause� has become the main source of power for congressional legislation dealing with Native Americans.
Emphasis added.
My reaction was along the lines of “WTF, over?”
All movement of people between states? It says that how exactly?
And they’re proud of it! They tout the whole power grab thing right there. Amazing. I’m not sure I want to read the rest of their helpful explanation of what each part of the Constitution means. Well, okay, I scrolled down to the Second Amendment and found it strange too. Couldn’t resist.
Sadly, the commerce clause with respect to interstate commerce should never have read as a power of Congress. It should have read as a denial of power to the states without giving the feds authority either. Something like: “the states shall not obstruct or regulate commerce among the several states.” That could be worded better, but it’s a start off the top of my head.
Apparently there has been far more of a grab of power from states and individuals in the name of the commerce clause then the mere intrastate regulation of wheat or marijuana.
Thursday, May 05, 2005
Dennis Yost Was Not Involved
Deb tossed one of Sadie’s plastic rings at a tower of blocks to knock it down, which is something Sadie doesn’t have the concept of doing yet. She loves to knock down towers as fast as we build them, but has no concept of throwing something at it to make it happen.
So I said “that’s non-spooky action at a distance” to Sadie, as if that explained it. Deb didn’t get the reference, which was floating around the top of my brain as I’d seen the phrase a couple times recently.
I told her it was a reference to “spooky action at a distance,” and I thought it was a quantum physics reference, probably to do with entanglement. Then I said “wait, I have Google!”
Sure enough, the phrase, by Einstein, refers to a major prediction of quantum theory. Two photons can be light years apart and entangled such that a polarity flip in one instantly happens in the other. Or something like that. It apparently violates nothing, because there is no spoon space. I love it when I pick these things up by osmosis and remember them enough to be almost useful.
Monday, May 02, 2005
I’d Love to See Which Ones the Test Writer Thought Were Wrong…
Not to mention one or two where I thought both answers were acceptable.
Your English Skills:
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Grammar: 100% |
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Punctuation: 80% |
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Spelling: 80% |
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Vocabulary: 60% |
Via the apparently like-minded Jen
Saturday, April 23, 2005
Libertarian
"You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.”
Monday, April 18, 2005
Rewrite the Constitution
Jeff Soyer visits in detail a topic I have touched upon in the past myself: How the Constitution could be better written.
He’s going amendment by amendment, starting with the first and moving on to the second.
There are rules. You’re free to add a slant or make it a funny version, or to be serious and try to add detail or clarity. You should cover the same item(s) within the rewrite. You’re limited to no more than 75 words and two sentences.
And just because it never hurts to have a reminder, here is the original text of the First Amendment:
Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.
And here is the original text of the Second Amendment:
A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.
Now go see Jeff and give him your rewrite of the First Amendment and Second Amendment.
Oh right. I suppose I ought to do my own. It’s harder than it sounds. I’ve thought about the topic in general for many years, dating back to a rough idea for a series of science fiction novels I had in the early to mid-eighties. Part of my thinking was to show how our Constitution ultimately failed to protect us in the end, show another flawed Constitution written for a colony and how it didn’t work out so well, and finally another colony based on the lessons learned from those. That only as a side element of the story, not as the focus, perhaps with the actual text of the documents as appendices.
As I said in Jeff’s comments, one possibility would be to include a glossary to try to ensure the intended definitions of the words used would be clear in the future. That aside from being as clear as possible in the first place. The Second Amendment sounds intentionally obfuscated, even if it was on account of the people at the time adding a reason clause that meant “and we mean it!”
Okay, First Amendment:
No law shall make any religion official or prohibited, or bar public exercise of cultural trappings associated at times with religions. No law shall restrict speech, unwritten expression, press, or peacable assembly in any form, existing or devised in the future, individual or commercial, nor the right to petition the government for a redress of grievances.
That’s 56 words, I think. Probably not ideal, but I was trying to follow the rules.
Now the Second Amendment:
The government exists primarily for the defense of its citizens, but the people retain the primary right and responsibility of self-defense, so no law shall be made to limit or regulate ownership of guns and other weapons by individuals and groups.
Not sure I like how that came out, but it’s a start. Care to try your hand at it?
Friday, April 15, 2005
A Dandy Quiz
Your Linguistic Profile:
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55% Yankee |
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35% General American English |
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5% Dixie |
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5% Upper Midwestern |
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0% Midwestern |
Via Lynn