Couple of things:
1. I like Peter Jennings a hell of a lot more than I used to since he neglected to spend the last few months of his life advocating for research or bitching at people to quit smoking. Man turned out to have some dignity.
2. Remember that meds increase? After a week on the increased dose I’m still getting dizzy when I stand up. I feel like total crap. I am already looking forward to the day that our family is complete and I have a chance of finding a drug that doesn’t announce that it’s working by making me incapable of functioning at more than a not-sitting-in-my-own-bodily-waste sort of level. ‘Cause people, I can tell you before I have it taken that my bp will be high, because if it’s high, I have enough energy to cook dinner. Yeah, it’s really that bad. Jay’s a saint. He really is.
3. Why is it that abnormally cold winters always seem to be followed by abnormally hot summers?
4. I have a half-formed theory about what the hell is wrong with people, anyway, but it’s still half-formed. I’m hoping I can put it all into words someday, because I think it’s sort of interesting. Unfortunately, I’ll have to wait until the next time my bp has crept up but before they fix the meds. ‘Cause the meds also make my head into a big empty cavity where thoughts bounce off the walls without ever colliding in the sort of way that knocks some sense into them. Sort of like those illustrations of Brownian motion in your high school chemistry book. I’m starting to get used to being intellectually neutered, though. I had some ideas about when it might be appropriate to trade quality of life for longetivity, but now that I’m properly medicated I don’t have the energy to care.
5. On top of all of that, I have a summer cold that I can’t take anything more than Tylenol for. My doctor has summarily forbidden me to take any cold or allergy medication whatsoever. Ought to make ragweed season pretty exciting this year.
6. Yeah, I suppose I should quit bitching because the alternatives are worse, but I don’t believe in the Suck Olympics. If one sucky thing sucks less than another sucky thing, that doesn’t mean the first sucky thing doesn’t suck. I don’t believe in the Pain Olympics, either. Or any of that other crap where people try to one-up each other with their suffering. Life is hard, yes? Just because it’s not as hard as it could be or as hard as it has been for someone else doesn’t mean it’s easy.
7. I really don’t remember feeling this bad the first time around. I rather suspect I did, though. I don’t think I left the house unless I really, truly, desperately had to for the last six months. I think maybe it seems worse because A. I have Sadie to chase, and boy does she take chasing, and B. the meds increase hit before the first trimester exhaustion passed so it’s exaggerated. Hopefully between the body getting more used to it and hitting 12 weeks, it’ll be better soon.
8. I had another item, but I’ve forgotten what it was. See what I mean? Heh.
[big hugs]
Posted by Ith on 08/09 at 12:11 PM
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