Sadie
I’ve been thinking about a post about Sadie’s borderline autism becoming increasingly apparent and frustrating. About how she’s in her own world and that leads to one-sided exchanges like “Sadie. Sadie. Saaadie. Sadie! SADIE! Saaaadieeee. Sadie, you need to learn your own damn name.” About how little trouble there has ever been with toddlers trying to exit my grandmother’s huge lawn in favor of the street, between all the better places to go, the apparent inherent clarity of the boundary, and not having to be told more than a couple times, so now comes Sadie being obsessed with making a beeline into the street. Over and over and over. Eventually I explained to her the concept of being smooshed by a car and how it was dangerous, as if she could understand, but the street-mothing trailed off after that. She does the same here, where if you put her down she will run the entire length of the long driveway in a flash. At the office it’s the parking lot she favors over the sidewalks and grass, though there was a day she discovered the steps from the parking lot to the street and wanted to go that way. About how funny she is with people, especially larger groups or any who do not fit her mental image of what or who should be in a given spot, like on the elevator when the door opens. About how we didn’t realize just how different Sadie was until Valerie came along. About how frustrating it is that she understands almost everything we say, can say almost anything she wants, but refuses to talk to any meaningful degree.
Then she does something like what she did last night, where her own agenda, intelligence, and sense of what’s right and timely charms us all over again.
We have had a toddler bed in her room for months, all setup and ready to go. You may recall the story of how she actively ignored the new bed when we first set it up, instead of being fascinated as expected. She had absolutely no interest in sleeping in it, sticking to her crib. It was almost as if she preferred the security of being enclosed. She also freaked and wouldn’t sleep in her crib the first night the bed was in her room, though that may have been unrelated.
She eventually started climbing on her new bed, and developed a distinction between “bed” and “crib.” That came out yesterday when Deb had her pick clean sheets for “her bed” and she picked yellow, then carried them to the bed, not the crib.
They stayed there and eventually it was bed time. Instead of carrying her to the crib as usual, she was loose. She followed me into the room, went over to her bed leaned onto it and hugged the sheets that were waiting to be installed. Awww. So Deb asked her if she wanted to sleep in her big girl bed and put on the yellow sheets. We gave her a blanket and left her laying on the bed.
After the door was closed and light was off, she came over and made a token protest at the door, then got back on the bed and crashed.
Just like that. When it was time, it was time, and she decided. It wouldn’t surprise me if she asks to sleep in the crib again before settling in for good, as she did once with the highchair, but generally once she decides, that’s it. Good timing, too, as we were on the verge of getting a new crib for Val, on the idea Sadie would never give hers up.
This is what will probably happen with potty training and talking. It’s what happened with weaning; she just decided it was time and stopped. It’s what happened with solid foods. She declared herself a babyfood-free zone. Even the bit with the pear last week; how long until I might have decided she was ready to gnaw on a whole fruit herself?
She is still sacked out in the position she crashed in last night. We cracked the door this morning so she can just wander out when she’s up.
It’s great that the coolness factor outweighs the frustration.
So cute about the bed! It definitely sounds like she knows what she wants, when she wants it! Maybe the talking thing will follow suit like you said.
And yes, it is great that the coolness factor outweighs the frustration. I am always thinking the same way when it comes to Julia. On the days where the frustration starts to take over, I just try and remember the “coolness” or she does something right then and there to remind me about how lucky I am!
Posted by Sharon on 05/02 at 11:55 AMI think you have a very hard-headed child there. Good luck!
Posted by caltechgirl on 05/02 at 01:55 PMMy kids didn’t talk until they were 3 and above. To have a ONE YEAR OLD talking is...um...amazing. I wouldn’t complain about her lack of conversational finesse.
Posted by on 05/03 at 09:31 PMShe’s not autistic, she’s obstinate. If there’s any similarity to autism, it’s that she has a particular way of understanding the world and, taken with her obstinacy, it’s likely best for all concerned that you learn it and accomodate it as much as possible.
She seems so damnably brilliant, I won’t be surprised when she does solve that tricky FTL problem.
Posted by Ian on 05/04 at 10:27 PM
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