Tuesday, April 27, 2004
In the middle of the night…
I think this is the first time since I’ve been pregnant that I haven’t been able to sleep at all. I also think that this has much to do with the fact that I have another appointment at 0815 and so need to be up in, oh, four hours or so. Sheesh.
I’m definitely going to have to blog about what’s going on medically, because it’s interesting in a weird way and it may be helpful at some point in the future to someone who freaks out as easily as I do. I’m going to save it for some time when I really feel like talking about it, but let me tell you, I’m tired of it already. And it’s only going to get worse as things progress, since I am now officially “high risk.”
Have I ever mentioned that I’m terrified of doctors? God has a funny sense of humor. I now have 3 doctors and a midwife. I’m praying it doesn’t get any worse than that. They scare me silly, even though they’re there primarily to monitor--trouble is not expected, just more likely than it might otherwise be. Which is why I can’t sleep now, I’m sure. I was just starting to relax about all of this, dammit.
Baby doesn’t seem to be intimidated, though. The little alien kicked the doppler in disgust when we dared listen too long. The little darling is still protesting, too. My mother has got to be thrilled at the thought that the little one is awake and kicking at 0230. She’ll be gloating...she’s been waiting almost 30 years for this indirect revenge.
I can’t wait to find out when the ultrasound will be...we’re getting some kind of souped-up version, too, which is kind of cool. Should be in the next 2-3 weeks...then I should be able to redo this page in pinks or blues rather than writing in it. *grin*
I’m finally sleepy, so I’m going to go crawl onto the couch and nap for a couple of hours. I’ll try to fill in the blanks soon...it’s surprisingly difficult for me to talk about all of this. I’m too well trained as Little Mary Sunshine, I suppose. Not in an inner-optimist sort of way, but more in a cover-up-how-stressed-you-really-are-’cause-imperfection-is-rude kind of way. That’s why I leave the upsides to my husband. He’s got a much bigger dose of natural optimism than I do.