Sunday, September 11, 2005
September 11, 2001
I’ve decided to paste my post from last year, but before I do, I would like to note the America Attacked site that Ith linked. It’s a memorial of pictures and stories.
This is what I posted before:
I may or may not post any further commentary besides this. I, too, remember it vividly, and was changed forever by it.
Actually, for commentary here’s what I wrote about my 9/11/01 memories last year:
I got up and fired up the computer per usual. I checked e-mail, probably wrote or replied to some. Basically seeing if anything from clients is in and needs to be addressed.
Then I hit the Internet Explorer button, bringing up my home page of MSNBC. There it was, “breaking news,” the picture of the first tower after it had been hit. I didn’t immediately think of terrorism as I should have, but really my first thought after “oh my God!” was “this must be on TV.” I literally ran to the living room and clicked on NBC. As usual, I flicked back and forth between channels, but largely I watched the Today show at first, where Katie was talking and speculating as they aimed the camera at the tower, with not a great view of the damage to the first one. Remember too, initially nobody had video of the first plane hitting, and it was a scramble.
I was glued to the TV. Then I saw the second plane come along and ghost into the other tower live as it happened. That is when I knew it was terrorism. Everyone did.
For me, not having family in the military or in the area, it wasn’t as personal as for some people. But it was still an attack on my country.
I have to say, I couldn’t get enough of seeing the planes crash, of seeing the towers collapse, of seeing the scene on the ground. On some level it’s like the thrill of watching a hurricane in action; sort of a rush. At the same time, I was angry. I was sad. Seeing it over and over, eating up all I could, fed and intensified that feeling, and that was what I wanted to feel. I was very much in “make the Middle East a parking lot” mode. Then of course there was the desire to get every detail of every event and every nuance, as soon after it was available as possible. I think the thing that really got me was the collapse. I was imagining too vividly being stuck in the building when that happened.
In addition to TV, I kept running to the computer, attempting to see what was on the web, but mainly going on a newsgroup or two, refreshing regularly, seeing what was posted by people all over the country. Usenet performed well that day. While I was at it, I kept e-mailing the receptionist at my big client, seeing what was up there, and reporting to her what I saw breaking on TV, such as when the towers each collapsed, keeping her up to date. The rest of the office pretty much ended up huddled around the TV, which was moved from the 2nd floor break room to the large conference room on the 3rd floor where more people could see it. Then most people went home early. I think they officially closed early and even the receptionist went home.
It wasn’t until after noon that I remembered I had a VCR and blank tapes. Duh. Had I been thinking, I’d have been recording from the time I first tuned in. So I recorded more than 8 hours of mostly repetitious footage which, despite not being able to get enough the first day or two, I have never watched again except right after, enough to tell that it recorded okay.
I remember how much pure speculation there was. There were four planes hijacked, no, five. Airforce One was a target. The White House was a target. No they weren’t. It was a mess, in a way, but we needed as much as fast as we could get it, and it got corrected and updated along the way until it was an accurate picture.
I remember being impressed with the fact that every channel was carrying the news, from some affiliate or another. I don’t have cable, but I normally get at least 12 channels watchably. One is always a shopping channel. One is a shopping channel that at night shows movies dubbed in Spanish. Those had news. I could actually watch CNN on broadcast TV; amazing. Even for the most important stuff, there are usually holdouts. This wasn’t merely important; it was world changing. I knew that… probably about the time of the first collapse.
The day wasn’t for me what it was for some people, but I will sure as hell never forget it, starting with seeing that picture on MSNBC and running for the TV. I cried and cried all day. I get very emotional that way, and have too much empathy. Then I would start crying again those first days afterward, every time I saw a flag, and especially masses of flags. Same thing when all the pictures of spontaneous gatherings of mourners paying tribute all over the world appeared.
And I was angry. Out for blood. I still can’t imagine anyone in this country blaming us for the attack, or thinking our response was too strong.
Finally, more pictures:
